For centuries, men have looked for ways to hold the attention of a woman. They say to learn how to do something; one should study those who do it well. History shows us Casanova, Don Juan, and Romeo. Modern media shows us women, who have been so captivated by a man that they are willing to go, give, and do anything to be by their side. These modern schemesters learned well from the likes of their historical counterparts. While some have used this “captivation phenomenon” to exploit the very women they were captivating, many enormously admired men also use it. These men have discovered the fine art of meeting a woman’s most basic desires.
While good looks help, they are not the basis for this captivation phenomenon. Having an intriguing presence that fills a room and emanates confidence is what inexplicably draws in women. This subtle confidence is not to be confused with arrogance or a cocky self-serving attitude. It is a kind of quiet knowing, that one is solid, not easily shifted by the opinions of others, and not seeking validation.
For this kind of man, a woman is a luxury, not a necessity. He treats a woman as a cherished prize, never seeking to master her. He desires only to learn more about what makes her unique and to nurture and feed her heart. This kind of man ignites a woman’s imagination and playful spirit.
In the book Captivating, Stasi Eldridge notes the three basic desires of a woman: to be romanced, to be found irreplaceable and to be found beautiful. All women have a story, a story woven together of things that she has done, as well as the things done to her, and for her. As a result, many women have a wounded heart from not having needs met, being treated unfairly, or even being abused.
Their hearts long to be nurtured and restored. The heart represents your soul essence…your mind, will and emotions. Very few women have had these basic desires fully met. By fulfilling these key heart desires for a woman, you will create a powerful bond that is not easily broken. To captivate a woman’s heart you need to meet these three key desires:
1. Desire to be “romanced.”
To be wooed, desired and have someone take time to please them. Women seek this in relationships. Note the books they read, stories they enjoy and movies they watch. The idea of a man taking the time to pursue them romantically is irresistible. Look into a woman’s eyes and hold her gaze. Allow her to feel that she is the only one in the room. By giving your full attention, awareness, and interest, a woman cannot help but swept up. By thoughtfully listening, smiling and engaging a woman in conversation you will hold her imagination. If you still do not understand, watch romantic movies (rent The Notebook), or read romantic literature. If you want to keep a woman endeared to you, romance her continually throughout your relationship. Small gestures of your affection, offered regularly, will hold her admiration.
2. Desire to be found irreplaceable.
To be so precious to someone, that they would be unable to replace you in their life. It is a desire to be more than simply useful, but to be essentially needed by someone. We do not come alive by just being useful. Do you want to be simply useful in your lover’s life? By allowing a woman to feel that she holds an unyielding place in your life, you meet a primal desire for her. This creates a deep bond, making you irreplaceable to her as well.
3. Desire to be found beautiful.
Women desire to be seen and enjoyed, to be captivating. As Stasi Eldridge notes, “Woman want to know, ‘Do you love me?’, and ‘Do you think I am lovely?'” It is powerful gift, that a man gives to a woman, when he shows her how desirable and precious she is to him. Women feel beautiful by the way a man looks upon her and how he touches her, gently with a strong confidence. While verbal affirmation is desirable, the body language must be present for a woman to sense that you find her beautiful.
To captivate someone is defined as to influence and dominate by some special charm, art, or trait and with an irresistible appeal. By learning the special art of how to romance a woman, make her feel irreplaceable and beautiful, you develop your captivation skills. While other men may merely date women, you will be desired by them. Those you have loved fully will never forget you. Your wife will become a trusted partner.
The best part about developing and using these skills is that once you captivate a woman’s heart, she will do whatever she can to meet your basic needs. By having her needs met and wounded heart restored, she will be able to give herself fully to you. There is a saying, “Happy Wife = Happy Life.” Therefore, when you make her happy she will strive keep you happy, out of love and appreciation for captivating her heart.